Viri Luna

This year has been pretty crazy. It’s hard to remember everything that has happened, but I can try I guess.

Well I went through the college graduation process, moved from living on my own to a 3 bedroom apartment with roomies, got my first nice purse (from my bf), got a job since I hadn’t worked for 2 years, and most recently broke up with my bf of 3 years.

The final event is what has been the most felt event from this year in my life. I really felt like he was “the one” and I still do. The thing is that our relationship was plagued by the disease that is depression. I would let my insecurities, jealousy and depressive thoughts interfere with our relationship. I stopped taking my meds and didn’t really do anything to help myself. I relied to much on him for everything and it eventually took it’s toll.

We are still friends, although we have not hung out as such since we broke up in september. We don’t talk as much on the phone as we did when we were together, which is to be expected, but we still keep in touch. He says he does eventually want to hang out with me, but thinks that I will try to beg him back or that I’ll start crying, etc.

What I really hope to happen is that I can get better and show him that I was able to beat this depression and am a happier, more at ease person that I was before. Hopefully this will make him feel at ease that if he was to get back with me, he would not have to worry about the stresses that were there the past year. He said he was never tired of me, just tired of the attitude I would bring.

It’s hard to not get my hopes up and just let it go. If I was to set my goal to just get over it I don’t think I would survive living here in LA so far away from my family and close friends, much less adding the fact that I’m taking my final class for my bachelors. I’m just trying to stay positive and looking at the brightside of things, such as he’s not dating anyone, he’s 28 and is over the whole partying scene, we’re still friends, etc.

I guess only time will tell if we are meant to be together or not. It’s just hard to wait and stay occupied. And it’s such a big risk as well.

Hope 2008 is a much better year!